Today was the day I went back to Tennessee. The weirdest thing though is when we were headed to Maryland I kept referring to it as going home (that's normal though), but when we were headed to Tennessee I also referred to it as going home. I saw no issue, but everyone from Maryland kept correcting me which is understandable. The day started off with Victoria, Brenda, Rebekah, Laura, and I all going to church. We were surprising the people there too. It was really cool. People that I didn't even know knew me started getting happy that we were there. The worst part though was when they asked us how long we were staying and we had to respond, "Well, until after second service worship, then we're headed home..." I connected with a lot of people that I had never really connected with before. Most of them were adults older than I was. It was a really cool experience.
The entire way home was twelve hours of reflecting on what had happened the last three days. I realized first and foremost that the crap that comes between people doesn't matter anymore. When I got home I didn't care who I hung out with most and who talks crap about me, I was just happy to see them. All of them. Even the ones that were new and I knew nothing about. I didn't care what age they were and whether I knew them, I just loved being there with them. When you go from having every day with people to lucky if you see them every few months you begin to throw away the crap, and just cherish the moment. I learned that I had changed a lot (for the good), but I still felt just as home when I was in Maryland.
I wrote down in my journal what I would say to those in my youth group in Maryland if I had the chance. The Unfortunate part is that even if I ever got the chance to say these words, they wouldn't hear them. We as human beings are very stubborn. Billions of people have lived before us and given us so much wisdom and advice, but we refuse to listen because we think that we can do better. How many people end up with broken hearts because they don't listen to those around them, older then them, warning them that the relationship they are in is not healthy. How many times does history repeat itself because we refuse to learn from it? The pain you feel could have been prevented if you had just listened to those trying to warn you. Those in high school listen to your parents and friends in college trying to warn you about how you are going to miss those days. Those of you who "hate" your parents right now, listen to those before you warning you that one day you won't have them by your side daily and that day you'll regret that you didn't cherish it while you had it. Most importantly love everyone like today will be the last day you see them, because you never know it just might be.
10/21/2012 Day 20
If I could give any advice to those at home I would say sit down and take a look at the people around you. Yes, even the one's you can't stand. These are the people that you're heart will break for when you are missing them one day. Look at you're family. They are your back bone. They have brought you up to take care of yourself even if that meant not taking care of you at all, and yes, when you leave you will miss them like crazy. I promise. For those of you who believe your parents are terrible, I promise you there is worse, and even if there isn't like they teach us in psychology, one prefers the bad familiar over the good unfamiliar. I am not trying to say your life isn't hard because I remember being you not too long ago, and you will probably never understand what I am saying until you leave, but do not take what you have now for granted. One day misplacing your license, someone talking bad about you, and the grades you make won't matter anymore. In fact, you'll learn how to laugh at it. For when you are in complete turmoil because all you want to do is get that life back, you won't care about the crap that comes with it. When all you want is your former friends and your family, people who don't love you just don't seem to matter anymore. Love your family. For pretty soon you'll be lucky if you see them every few weeks. Open your hearts to everyone around you because you never know who you are going to call on your roughest days when you just need someone to help you get through. I promise you, one day that person that you just can't stand will be the person you somehow find yourself calling just to hear what's going on in their life because they are a small piece of what used to be your life. Work hard and keep up, but don't be afraid to fail. And if there comes a day where you have to chose, never miss great memories like prom, church events, trips, retreats, and even movies with friends. Because when you're gone these are the moments that you'll have to hold on to and keep you going. Don't allow yourself to have regrets. I promise that if you don't go (to prom, retreats, whatever) one day you will question, and regret. Don't regret. But if I could say one word to you, only one word, that word would be, love.
Now I'm back. It's the weirdest feeling ever. I am torn. I want with all of my heart to just be back with my family and friends, but I also want to be here. I love being at both places. I love the things I learn here, and the things I get to do. But I also miss with all of my heart everything from back home. Overall, I am SO glad I went home for the weekend. I have no regrets. Please don't turn down opportunities like this. Please take any opportunity you get. You won't regret it! Talk to you soon!
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