Day 28: Conclusions

Ah, today is the day I conclude. This project has brought me many great things. If anything it has brought back to me the joy of blogging. It has shown me that risk taking is not as scary as it seems. Contrary to popular belief, this project has relieved stress and caused less fear within me. I have found that when comes to deciding whether or not I should do something or go somewhere I no longer think about and fear it, I just do it. Like the wall that I had to climb over. I just did it. I didn't think about how high it was, and what could happen if I fall, I just hoisted myself over it and my life was all the better. 

I have learned that I believe anyone and everyone should do something like this in their lifetime. If you're scared of opportunities you need to try this! If you fear that one day you will look back on life and be angry about everything you didn't do, you need to try this! If you find that you are always turning down every opportunity you get, you need to try this! If you are the most adventurous person there is out there, you still need to try this! Because this project will show you limits you never knew you had, and get you to go beyond those limits. This project is one of the best things I have done for myself in a long time. Who knew that this would be the answer? 

I went to counseling. I tried to make new friends. I tried everything to get myself to fear less and stress less, but nothing worked. Finally I found something that did, and I never knew it would. I thought that this project would cause me to fear more and stress more. I  thought that the more I make myself do stuff the more I was going to stress out. I did find that this was the case in the beginning, but as I moved on things got better. The more opportunities I took that were awesome, and did not turn out bad as I thought they would, the more confident I became. I honestly feel like a new person. I don't think that I am going to come out of this project and go skydiving or anything ridiculous like that. But I do think that I am going to say yes a lot more often. I think I am going to fear less and stress less. I no longer walk into a social situation with fear. I walk in knowing that the worst that can happen is I walk out unchanged, and without any interaction. I realized that that is not the death of me. You can enjoy a party without talking to a single person as long as you learn to stop fearing and stop stressing. This project will get you there. 

In fact, I would argue that this project also strengthens your ability to say no. What's the point in that, you ask? Well, this project helps a lot with self-identity. You begin realize what you have been missing out on this entire time, but you also begin to realize more about what you enjoy and what you really aren't missing out on. I learned that I am missing out on great opportunities by not going to events like watching "Blue Like Jazz" or social gatherings, but I also learned that I don't have to worry about days when nothing happens. Those days can be just as great and just as useful. And it is okay to say no to something if I just want stay in today and watch a few movies, especially when I am the kind of person that can discover significant things about life through movies in the same way that English majors can discover some of the meanings of life through other literature. I can do this as long as I don't find myself doing this everyday. You will learn all about what you are missing out on, and what you don't really think is something missing within your life. You may be someone who has never gone to a party. This project will get you to that party. You may discover at that party that you love parties, or you may discover that you really never missed out on anything because parties are just not your thing. What I want to encourage of you though, if you choose to do this, is don't decide parties aren't for you only after going to one or three parties. Just because you don't enjoy a few, doesn't mean you don't enjoy them all. This project will not only help you to step outside of your comfort and learn to fear and stress less, but it will help you discover who you really are. 

Also, the most important I probably could have gotten from this was discovering what I want to do with myself in this life I have been given. I really have known for a while what I want to do, but I was scared because it meant a lot of work and it was something I was not really familiar with. But this project has taught me that things like this are not only the things you should not fear, but  the things that make life the best it can possibly be. So on that note, I have decided to double major in telecommunications and youth ministry. Once I graduate I am going to take a few courses on business at whatever community college is closest by to where I am living. I am going to be a youth minister for a few years out of college where I will live in the cheapest living I can find, and save up money. Also, here I am going to use this time to talk to whoever I can to get advice. Because my ultimate goal (something I never thought I would say) is to plant a church. If you know me, you know I am passionate about a lot of things! I once had to do a project for another English class where you wrote your name and then with drawings you displayed everything that you love and makes you, you. I remember my teacher looking at mine and saying, "Wow! You do a lot!" And it was true I did a lot. I loved math, writing, reading (not as much as writing), social studies, art, drama, music, film, sports, I played drums, guitar and piano, I played soccer, basketball, and softball, I loved to snowboard, I loved motocross,  and I did almost everything there was for me to do and loved it. The only thing I never liked was horseback riding. That was my sister's thing. So when trying to decide what to do I didn't want to think of it. I knew God was calling me to do  a lot of different things that didn't really connect so I had no idea how I was going to do it all. I think He's finally given me the answer with planting a church. I can be involved in missionaries, running a business, youth ministry, communications, and pretty much everything I have ever wanted. Thanks to this project I not only discovered the answer, but was not afraid to say yes to it. 

Overall, I fear and stress about less now, I have discovered more insight on who I am, And I am now leading a life that I love. 

Go out there, and become a "Yes Man."!

Day 25: Midnight Walmart Trip

So nothing really happened today until the night time. 

At 9:30 I was asked to go to Dunkin Donuts with my friends, and naturally I said yes. Going for food is not something I struggle with saying yes to. However, I planned on going to Dunkin Donuts for two donuts, but when I got there they shared with me that I could get six donuts for the price of the two. So I did. However, when I got back after eating two donuts I felt sick so I couldn't finish the rest. So I put the rest of the donuts in my dorm's lounge and wrote a note on them that they were free for eating. 

At midnight I wasn't feeling good so I crawled into bed. Just as I was about to sleep my friend walked in. She asked if I could go out driving with her. I said, "Yes." So I crawled out of bed and asked her where we were going. She said she didn't know she just needed to drive. She was dealing with some things and driving takes her mind off of it. So I told her I wanted to go to Walmart so I could buy the movie New Year's Eve. Here's the story about New Year's Eve. Months before the movie came out I told all of my friends that if I could see one movie in theatre's this year that would be the one (this was of course before I knew about Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close) However, the movie released at a weird time around us. It released at Christmas and ended around January second. Why? It's about New Year's. It should have been released more in January than December. Anyways, my point being I didn't expect these strange release dates and missed seeing the movies in theatre. I searched for the movie everywhere after that. I waited months for it to come out on DVD. I put in on my Dad's Netflix que, and then he cancelled his Netflix. When it came out I asked friend after friend if they had the movie, but no one did. When I had money I went to FYE and other stores but couldn't find it. I could find Valentine's Day, but not New Year's Eve. So naturally I spent the  money on other great movies. Then finally I found it at this Walmart in Tennessee. So the point of that really long story was I wanted it, and  if I was going out with my friend this late feeling like I was going to be sick at any second, I was going to get this movie. So we went out for a little while. Her curfew was at one so we had to get back before then. It wasn't too bad of a trip, and I am glad I was able to help her in this little way. Plus, I got NEW YEAR'S EVE! So it was a win-win really. 

Talk to you soon!

Day 24: I Workout

Today was slightly uneventful, but eventful all at the same time. The stories I am going to write about today began once again in my English class. First, I just want to know that I can be awkward. I make awkward facial expressions that usually don't portray how I feel, and end confusing those I am interacting. I awkwardly make my way through crowds, turing sideways, and scrunching my face as if that is going to make my entire body any smaller than it is. I awkwardly form sentences that usually never get my point across. I awkwardly announce the tragedies within my life, and then awkwardly laugh it off. I awkwardly take compliments. Someone compliments me, and I blush and respond with, "I don't know what to say to that.", and then we both feel awkward, and I awkwardly walk away. I am just AWKWARD. With that being said my teacher in English took up my quiz today, and I made an awkward face. He thought that I had something to say, and commented, "Are you not allowed to talk today?" I responded, "No." And then I remained awkward. The girl next to me then took this opportunity and said, "Don't talk." Like the guy who told me to talk in third person, she did not specify an amount of time of which I was to perform this task. So like unlike the third person, I decided I would only do it for the rest of this class. Then the class was put into groups so that we could discuss our reading for the day. I, being the only one with a copy of the reading, was not allowed to talk. The girl who had instructed me to not talk was within my group and she became frustrated. My teacher tried to help me out by telling me that I could talk again. However, my ground rule is that I am to listen to the first opportunity. Therefore, I still could not talk. But I found a loop hole after the girl who instructed me not to talk became frustrated with herself. I found that not talking in this class may effect my educational experience, and therefore due to my ground rule of not being able to effect my education, I was now allowed to talk. 

I know, this probably frustrates a lot of you. You think I am cheating. I understand. However, when you projects like this I warn that you be careful of your ground rules. Put enough in there to keep you from trouble, but know that when you are in a rough spot you will rely one these rules to give you loop holes out of situations like this one. So when planning your ground rules be specific, but not so specific that your project ends up not even being a project at all. Meaning, with my ground rules I can find a loop hole to almost everything, but if I did I would not take any opportunity and therefore this project would have absolutely no point whatsoever. So this is what I warn you of.

Then my friend asked me to workout with her. (Hence my title) I do have to say though, that this isn't really interesting. I am not really the couch potato that hates to exercise. I will admit that I am not very good with running, so I ride a bike. But I enjoy exercise, and always have. I do have to admit that the only exercise I had the most trouble with was forced exercise, like in gym class or sports. But I went to gym, as I should be doing weekly, and worked out the hardest I have in a long time. I felt great, but the next morning I hurt so bad. However, I love being sore because it means I actually did something. I hope to workout more often. I just find it hard to find time to do so. 

Lastly, today I played guitar at my small group. I was extremely nervous about doing so. I cannot sing to save my life, and the songs that I said I was going to play I never had time to practice. I got there and there was another girl playing guitar. She went before me. She claims that she has less experience on the guitar than me, but if I say so myself she is a pretty decent guitar player especially considering the time frame that she has been playing. Plus, she is an amazing singer. And I had to follow this amazing singer. So I chose not to sing. Instead, I played "How He Loves" by John Mark McMillan as everyone else sang. It was actually not bad, and if asked to do it again I probably will. Yes, I kept messing up the f chord because I was nervous and my guitar pick kept slipping out of my sweaty hands, but it sounded okay and it wasn't the death of me. 

As I said today was eventful, but not completely exciting. But I hope you enjoyed it anyway! Talk to you soon!

Day 26: Visiting a Place

Today I went to Walmart and surveyed some people. If you remember I did the same thing with college students on my campus. This time I asked Walmart employees and some of the customers. I was mostly trying to aim towards the middle-aged group so that I could introduce a different age group to my studies.

I asked the same four questions:

What's the riskiest thing you have done?
Would you become a yes man?
How many often do you turn down opportunities?
Anything you regret?

Question One:
42% answered with moving far away from home
42% answered spending a lot of money
15% nothing
1 person answered Flying a helicopter

The first two answers make sense. As an adult one typically moves away from their home, and takes on financial responsibility. So the average person will view a large amount of money spent, or a long move very risky.

Question Two:
75% answered no
25% answered I don't know
0% answered yes

I think results like this display the fact that people want choice. Most of the people I surveyed did not know what the yes man was. So once I had explained it they were turned off by the idea that they had to say yes. Human's tend to want choice, even if choosing the "wrong" answer could be harmful for them they want the choice to figure it out themselves, or "let me make my own mistakes".

Question Three:
25% answered often
75% answered not often

This one I don't really know. It was found that college students usually found themselves turning down opportunities often. So the opposite of what these results show. I am pretty sure I know the answer as to why college students find themselves turning down so many opportunities. As a college student you have to learn to balance, education, social life, food, exercise, work, and so many other things. On top of that everyone on campus is having an event, handing out free stuff, doing a project, or anything. So you come to a dilemma of not having enough time in the day. You need to do your work, but you also can't do every event on campus. So you turn down a lot. For example one day I was asked to go to four different events, all of which were at the same time. I had to turn down at least three of them. This is why I think college students feel this way. What confuses me is the difference between college students and adults. Adults have busy lives just as much as college students. Are they just not being presented with as much opportunities? Is there something I am missing. I am not sure. The thing that I can most likely conclude is that they just aren't presented with as many opportunities as college students are and therefore they don't feel like they miss out because they do accept the ones suggested. For example, a college student could be asked by five different people to go out to dinner with them daily, where as an adult will usually be called up by maybe one person to go out to dinner on a weekend. So therefore every day the college student is turning down four opportunities where as the adult is not turning down any. 

Question Four:
50% answered no
50% answered yes

These results were strange to me. I predicted that the older you were the more of a chance you would have to regret something. It makes sense the more time on earth, the more things you do, the more of a chance you have to have regrets. But then I realized that I was surveying a population who was kind of in the middle. The way I see it college students, who's results were 75% yes and 25% no, are more likely to have regrets because we have just come out of such a judging time of our life, high school. Just about everything one does in high school is known by everyone. If you do something stupid the entire world knows and the entire world judges you. In college that mentality dies down, but the anxiety from your recent past still exists causing to feel regretful.

When you are older and closer to death you begin to reflect on your life and therefore conclude on some of things things you regret. 

But as a middle aged adult you are kind of just in the middle. You don't have the anxiety from the recent pressures of attempting juvenile perfection in high school, but you also don't have the pressure of the end, you're just there. I think that this creates one to feel free from regrets. Some of course still feel the pressure of parents/in laws and society as a whole. This is the reason for the fifty/fifty split. You have either grown out of your past anxiety or you haven't. 

Day 21: Research (Article)

Experience Psychology by Laura A. King

Today I decided to take another approach in the field of hard research (research that is read; by my definition), and read part of my textbook from Psychology as opposed to an article. My hopes was to understand from a psychologist's point of view why some  people are adventurous and some are not. What I found were many theoretical reasons that sparked my interest.

pg 348

"Humanistic: Stress a person's capacity for personal growth and positive human qualities. Humanistic psychologists believe that we all have the ability to control our lives and to achieve what we desire."

According to Humanists we have the potential to decide whether we are adventurous or not. So if one wanted to become adventurous, they just would. Maybe by taking on the "yes man" project, or maybe by just deciding that they would become more adventurous. If one agrees with the views of a Humanistic than it is pretty easy for one to become more adventurous. 

Maslow:

Maslow's Hierarchy

1. biological needs

2. safety

3. belonging 

4. self-esteem

5. Self-actualization

Perhaps though some get trapped in Maslow's hierarchy. Perhaps some of us are too concerned with our safety that we may never become adventurous. Some may never bungee jump or sky dive because they feel it is unsafe. Or even in a smaller spectrum some may never want to attend parties in fear that their safety is insecure whether in a physical way (alcohol poisoning, drugs, etc.)or a social way (rejection of any sort).

pg 352

Five Factors of Personality

This part was interesting. According to the book there are five factors of personality, neuroticism, extraversion, openness to experience, agreeableness, and conscientiousness. 

Neuroticism:
These types of people feel more negative emotion than positive emotion within their lifetime. 

Openness:
These types of people are usually more open-minded and tolerant of others. 

Conscientiousness:
These types of people usually excel in academic matters. 

Agreeableness:
These types of people are usually more generous. Agreeableness is usually linked to those of a religious faith. Also those who are agreeable tend to have a better experience with romantic relationships. 

*Extraversion:
These types of people are more like to engage in social activities. They are more likely to experience gratitude. They are more likely to be forgiving. They are more likely to develop a sense of meaning in life.

I couldn't help (obviously being biased since I am a Christian myself) but relate this one to Christians. Before you read the rest know that I am not saying that you must be a Christian to be adventurous, as I point and shake my finger at you like an adult does to a child who has been "naughty", but rather to point out something that I noticed. Obviously, there are many adventurous people out there that are not Christian, but it does make me wonder. Why wouldn't Christians be adventurous? If we truly believe that God has a hold of our life, and that in Him we are safe, then why don't we jump out of airplanes knowing we are completely safe? We are forgiving, aren't we? We experience gratitude, don't we? And we should have a sense of meaning in life, shouldn't we? So then why are some of us still not adventurous? Please, don't think that I am challenging every Christian to step up and jump out of airplanes. I understand that God has placed multiple types of people in this world so that they can fulfill their purpose. Not everyone is meant to jump out of an airplane. I am just curious as to why some of us don't take up more opportunities. 

I mean look at me, I refuse to get out of my dorm room sometimes. Why? What am I afraid of? I sit in church singing songs that say things like, "in you death has lost it's sting". Yeah? Do I really believe that? Because if I did what the heck else is there to be afraid of other than death? Do I believe that once I am done with this project I will never turn down an opportunity again? Of course not. But I do hope that when I am done I fall under this category of an extravert more often than any other category for I feel that this is where I should be. 

So overall I learned that if you are a humanist, changing yourself to become more adventurous is incredibly easy for you. You just have to believe you can do it. I also learned that those who fall under the category of extravert are more likely to take opportunities. 

Talk to you soon!

Day 22

First off I want to start with saying that my title says thirty days, but in reality the project has only 28 days. However, I have kind of fallen in love with this project. I don't think that I will continue it completely, but I think I might continue journaling on here to you guys about my adventures and ideas of life. As I have mentioned before I have two other blogs. One that I write on whenever I want to sort of "preach" about things or write poetically. This blog is usually one of my follower's favorites. http://yourekillingmesmalls23.blogspot.com My other blog is    one where I  planned one writing everyday about my adventures in college. However, I quickly realized once I got here that not everyday is interesting. So I didn't really follow up with posting everyday. So I have decided that this is where I am going to post about research I have done, revelations about my school work or life plans, and that such. Kind of like a journal to the world on who I plan to be.   And this is that blog. http://tideintheaffairsofmencollege.blogspot.com And on this blog (the yes man) I will continue to blog about my adventures, and people I meet. I hope that you stick with me. Please if you have any questions message me! Especially if you want to know about being a "yes man".

This week at Lee University is Mission's week. Mission's week is basically when a lot of people doing mission's work around the world come to our school to talk about what they have done, and try and get us to be passionate about it as well. For those of you who don't know mission's work is when someone goes somewhere (usually a third world country, but can be in the U.S. as well) to do either physical work to help rebuild communities or to spread the love of God.

The frustrating part about this week however is my heart is completely drawn towards mission's work. I want to help whoever I can in any way possible. If I had a lot of money. I would go around the world trying to help whoever I could. Why is this frustrating? Because this week I have person after person firing me up about how much I want to help people, and then they leave. After they leave I am left here a fiery ball of heart break towards those who are suffering with no idea of how to direct my flame of passion. This is the problem with most people who share their missionary. They share with you the heart breaking stories. Some even ask for a donation to help them. That's fine, but what happens if I have no money to help you now, and you just leave me here broken, wanting to help in some way but not knowing how? This is the problem, and this is what frustrates me the most.

On a lighter note, for you, today in class I was asked to do yet another idiotic thing. I stupidly announced that I found I was experiencing more uneventful days with my project than eventful. So a kid in my english class decided he was going to take this opportunity to make me look like an idiot. So he demanded that I talk in third person for the rest of the day. This is probably one of the hardest things I had to do for this project, and I failed miserably. I hate to talk about myself. It's even awkward for me when others talk about me, especially if it's a compliment. So referring to Brooke, makes Brooke feel awkward. So Brooke realized that the boy in her class did not specify exactly how long Brooke was to refer to herself in third person. So Brooke decided that she would refer to herself in third person for the rest of the day. And Brooke failed. Brooke forgot often that she was even supposed to do so. Brooke would try and then halfway through the sentence I would forget and refer to myself in first person, just like this sentence. It was the roughest thing Brooke had to do this project. If you want to give yourself a hard time, talk in third person for the rest of the day.

So this is pretty much all I have for today. Hope you enjoyed it! Talk to you soon!

Day 23: Visiting a Place

Today I was going to visit the nursing home and ask them about what they regret in life. However, after discussing this and thinking it over I realized that is a very morbid question. And being someone who suffers from depression associated with the thought of dying, I would hate to depress someone else in the same way. Though I may still visit a nursing home just to go and talk to them because I am sure they would love someone to talk to, I will not being going there to conduct this research. So instead I researched it online. I know this might be considered cheating, but I really want to know what people at that age regret the most, but I don't want to depress anyone. So I looked at this article. The article is on a former nursing home attendant sharing the top five most expressed regrets of those on their death bed. Those five regrets, staying in touch with friends, being true to yourself, working too hard, lack of courage to express their feelings. When reading this article I was a little shocked. I was expecting and kind of hoping that their answers would be the opportunities that they didn't take. That answer would have made for a better argument on my behalf. But as well all learn in life things don't always go the way we predict, and in those situations we can sometimes learn the best things in life. There was a certain freedom that I gained when reading this article. I had been told by many that their biggest regrets were not things they had done, but things they hadn't done. Yet these people on their death beds, where it is said one contemplates their life the most, were worried about things they hadn't done, but not in the sense of opportunity but rather in the sense of relationships with others. So even though this project has enlightened my life immensely if I turn down opportunities from now on, according to this article, it won't come up on my death bed. So what will come up on my death bed? What do I have to worry about? Relationships. 

With this article I have found that I could travel the world, bungee jump, skydive, swim in the ocean, whatever, but if I don't keep in touch with myself and those around me none of this will matter. This makes sense. This is the basis of many movies. Characters that get all they have, but lose people in the making, and in the end those people weigh more than anything they ever wanted. Like, Family Man Nicholas Cage is a character who has everything he ever wanted. One morning he finds himself waking up with a past lover, and for a few days he explores life with her and without his success. In the end he discovers this imaginary life is better than all of his success. Many movies are like Family Man. So with the research I have done I realized that, though I believe everyone should try this project and enrich their life more with taking more opportunities, you should focus on those around you. Who is in your life right now? Family? Friends? Kids? Do you put them above everything else? Or do you let your work or adventurous lifestyle take place before them? These are the questions you should evaluate if you want to stray away as much as you can from regrets on your death bed. Talk to you soon! 

Day 20: Reflection

Today was the day I went back to Tennessee. The weirdest thing though is when we were headed to Maryland I kept referring to it as going home (that's normal though), but when we were headed to Tennessee I also referred to it as going home. I saw no issue, but everyone from Maryland kept correcting me which is understandable. The day started off with Victoria, Brenda, Rebekah, Laura, and I all going to church. We were surprising the people there too. It was really cool. People that I didn't even know knew me started getting happy that we were there. The worst part though was when they asked us how long we were staying and we had to respond, "Well, until after second service worship, then we're headed home..." I connected with a lot of people that I had never really connected with before. Most of them were adults older than I was. It was a really cool experience. 

The entire way home was twelve hours of reflecting on what had happened the last three days. I realized first and foremost that the crap that comes between people doesn't matter anymore. When I got home I didn't care who I hung out with most and who talks crap about me, I was just happy to see them. All of them. Even the ones that were new and I knew nothing about. I didn't care what age they were and whether I knew them, I just loved being there with them. When you go from having every day with people to lucky if you see them every few months you begin to throw away the crap, and just cherish the moment. I learned that I had changed a lot (for the good), but I still felt just as home when I was in Maryland. 

I wrote down in my journal what I would say to those in my youth group in Maryland if I had the chance. The Unfortunate part is that even if I ever got the chance to say these words, they wouldn't hear them. We as human beings are very stubborn. Billions of people have lived before us and given us so much wisdom and advice, but we refuse to listen because we think that we can do better. How many people end up with broken hearts because they don't listen to those around them, older then them, warning them that the relationship they are in is not healthy. How many times does history repeat itself because we refuse to learn from it? The pain you feel could have been prevented if you had just listened to those trying to warn you. Those in high school listen to your parents and friends in college trying to warn you about how you are going to miss those days. Those of you who "hate" your parents right now, listen to those before you warning you that one day you won't have them by your side daily and that day you'll regret that you didn't cherish it while you had it. Most importantly love everyone like today will be the last day you see them, because you never know it just might be. 

10/21/2012 Day 20

If I could give any advice to those at home I would say sit down and take a look at the people around you. Yes, even the one's you can't stand. These are the people that you're heart will break for when you are missing them one day. Look at you're family. They are your back bone. They have brought you up to take care of yourself even if that meant not taking care of you at all, and yes, when you leave you will miss them like crazy. I promise. For those of you who believe your parents are terrible, I promise you there is worse, and even if there isn't like they teach us in psychology, one prefers the bad familiar over the good unfamiliar. I am not trying to say your life isn't hard because I remember being you not too long ago, and you will probably never understand what I am saying until you leave, but do not take what you have now for granted. One day misplacing your license, someone talking bad about you, and the grades you make won't matter anymore. In fact, you'll learn how to laugh at it. For when you are in complete turmoil because all you want to do is get that life back, you won't care about the crap that comes with it. When all you want is your former friends and your family, people who don't love you just don't seem to matter anymore. Love your family. For pretty soon you'll be lucky if you see them every few weeks. Open your hearts to everyone around you because you never know who you are going to call on your roughest days when you just need someone to help you get through. I promise you, one day that person that you just can't stand will be the person you somehow find yourself calling just to hear what's going on in their life because they are a small piece of what used to be your life. Work hard and keep up, but don't be afraid to fail. And if there comes a day where you have to chose, never miss great memories like prom, church events, trips, retreats, and even movies with friends. Because when you're gone these are the moments that you'll have to hold on to and keep you going. Don't allow yourself to have regrets. I promise that if you don't go (to prom, retreats, whatever) one day you will question, and regret. Don't regret. But if I could say one word to you, only one word, that word would be, love.

Now I'm back. It's the weirdest feeling ever. I am torn. I want with all of my heart to just be back with my family and friends, but I also want to be here. I love being at both places. I love the things I learn here, and the things I get to do. But I also miss with all of my heart everything from back home. Overall, I am SO glad I went home for the weekend. I have no regrets. Please don't turn down opportunities like this. Please take any opportunity you get. You won't regret it! Talk to you soon!

Day 19: Day with My Other Family

Today is the day! I woke up early in the morning at six to get to the church where I was meeting with Victoria. From there we drove an hour to the campgrounds where the youth was staying. I was sporting an army jacket of my dad's that was three times my size because I stupidly forgot to bring jackets home with me. Once we got there a member of the youth who already knew we were coming met with us. Then she took us into where the youth was having breakfast. We walked in casually like nothing was happening. Our youth leader slyly said, "Well hey. Find a seat anywhere." At first I was a little disappointed. No one was reacting. They were just going on and eating. Then finally a few of them looked up, and then it hit them. Everyone displayed their own face of surprise. They jumped up and greeted us. It was one of the greatest feelings I have ever had. Some of them said that it took them a while to respond because they didn't really realize what was happening. One girl said that she didn't think anything of it. She thought, "Oh hey, they're just coming from their cabins. Wait? Wait what?" And then she realized. Haha. It was great. We sat down and ate breakfast with them, and talked in person for the first time in months. It felt like we had never left. I felt more connected with them now then ever before.

Then after breakfast we went into what was called the lakeside house. It was this little building that was on the lake. It was such a beautiful scene. They had set it up as our hangout spot. When you walked in there was a room full of couches and FOOD! Then it led to another room with a stage set up, and string lights hanging from the ceiling. We went in there where we had a quick worship followed by a message from our youth leader Mark. It was so great to be finally back there. Yes, things have changed. We lost our youth pastor and his wife as they moved to Florida to start their own church, and we were now led by a group of people as opposed to just two. But they are all people that we have known before. It felt like nothing had changed. Then they told us that we were about to embark on our group building project. So they got us to pair up with people and then they blindfolded all of us. Then they revealed our mission. We were to all link as one big long chain of blindfolded people out of the building and around the campground. We were only allowed to say four words without any clarification as to what they meant, "Up, down, left, right." The leaders lead us all out as we were blindfolded. The chain broke often since everyone in front of you was pulling you forward, and everyone behind you was pulling you backwards in fear or separating from you. So then we were given one last noise that we could do to signal that we had broken off it was a bird call of sorts. We learned very quickly that up meant step up, and down meant duck. Our leaders weaved us in between cars and trees, and everywhere. Eventually then led us onto some sort of platform. Then the platform began to rock. Some people screamed in fear that they were on a boat. Our challenge was to balance whatever we were on. It took us a while, and a few of us fell off, but we got it eventually. Then they let us take our blindfolds off, and we saw that we were on a gigantic balancing board. From there they split us into groups.

My group's first task was this:
There were two platforms with a rope in between. We were to get from one platform to the next using the rope. Here's the catch. Only one of us was allowed to talk. The shyest one of all of us. We had to get the rope without stepping off the platform. Lastly, we all had to fit on the platform. Fourteen of us on what appeared to be a 2x2 platform (measured in feet). If we fell off we lost the limb that touched the ground. It was interesting, but we did it.

Next Task:
This one was challenging for me. I am terrified of heights, and I hated people lifting me up. The task was that we all had to get over what appeared to be an eight foot wall. The only person allowed to talk was the person going over the wall. And everyone had to get over. We decided that we would designate two people that we knew could climb the wall on their own to lift us all over the wall. The plan was successful. The most amazing thing about it was my turn. I didn't even think about it. I just grabbed the hands of those lifting me, and climbed over the wall. If you asked me to do that last year I would have laughed at you and walked away. I am beginning to noticed the small changes within me because of this project.

Next Task:
All fourteen of us had to fit on what was called an elephant stand. It was maybe 1x1 (measured in feet). The catch (besides the size) they blindfolded who they thought to be the three strongest leaders, two others and of course me. I thought, okay, and sat back as everyone else discussed how to go through with this. Usually, I would be terrified, but not this time. Someone grabbed me and brought me onto the platform and instead of being terrified as my heart rate sped up I just followed them with trust.

Last Task:
We were to balance all fourteen of us on log connect to a tree by wires that rocked back and forth. Anyone was allowed to talk, except those who fell of the log. So I of course waited to be last on the log so that I could talk the entire time. It took us quite a few tries, but we got it eventually.

I really enjoyed these activities. It kind of felt like my final test for this project. Here I was in an environment that normally terrified me with people I felt comfortably enough with to refuse to do anything, and yet I didn't. I did it all without fear. Once again I felt at peace.

After the activities we went back to the lakeside house and discussed many things. The leaders opened up to the youth and allowed them to share their ideas as to what the youth group should be doing. How they should get out events. What events they should be doing. Everything. It was a great time to see how the youth was struggling, and also how much they weren't struggling. While down here I have gotten lots of letters and facebook messages on how terrible it has been back home in the youth after the leaders changed up a lot of things. But in this meeting I began to realize that nothing change but the leaders. Sure they no longer have service on saturday, and Jacqueline and Brian aren't there. But they all still communicate the same way. They all still hang out and care for each other. They all still fight and get frustrated. It's still a family. Then we went to lunch. After lunch we all broke out into the interlude. Where people from other churches on the campground sat around and wondered what we were doing. After dinner we did the same thing, but with the Cupid Shuffle. This time a lot of people joined in with us. There is something about our youth group that draws people in. Whenever we go to places like Winterfest and Teen Talent we always gain friends and people that just want to be a part of us. While we were blindfolded and being lead through the forest kids from other churches were trying to join us. Some would come along our side and warn us about the trees we were about to run into. It was especially cool because I got to share the african version of the cupid shuffle with the youth that I had learned at Lee. I was just so happy to be with them all again.

Which leads me to the next part, the hardest part of the day. After our dance party we went into lakeside house again and worshipped. It was such and amazing worship service. I felt so in touch with God. The "Yes Man" project has even crept into my spiritual life. Whenever we are worshipping or praying as a whole in church I always feel like I should pray for certain people in the youth, but I never do. This time was different. Someone's named popped up in my head and I went right to them, no question. Eventually we all joined hands in the room in a circle. We began to pray for everyone in the circle. And then we began to sing. Then we all sat down, and the worship leader asked us to all cry out to God, so we did. Eventually I began singing "Your Presence is Heaven to Me" from the Forward conference we had gone to over the summer. Then someone next to me began singing, "Jesus be the Center" from the same Forward conference. Next thing I know we are all singing "Jesus be the Center". Eventually the song died off and Mark came up to pray. After his prayer everyone got ready for the message he was about to speak. Then what I had been dreading the entire time came, Victoria's mom came up to me and told me it was time to go. So I grabbed my stuff, and tried to nonchalantly wave Mark goodbye and leave. He said goodbye back and everyone realized we were leaving. So everyone began to jump up to hug us and say goodbye. The first few people I was fine. Then I looked over and saw Brenda saying goodbye in complete tears. Then I broke down. Tears flooded out of my eyes. I couldn't keep it together anymore. Eventually, however we left, and we all went home.

Just another day that proves this trip was worth the 24 hours of driving. It was hard, but I needed it. Tomorrow is my last day in Maryland. Talk to you soon!

Day 18: Day With the Family

Today was the day of fall break that I got to spend all day with my family. My dad took the day off of work. I was so excited. We really didn't do anything spectacular. In fact, I spent the entire day catching up on some of the shows that I don't always have time to watch when I am down in Tennessee. However, it was still a great day. My mom sat down and watched TV with me. I was surprised. I love my mom, so please don't judge her based off this next statement. But usually my mom is either constantly on her computer or on her phone. When she isn't she's painting amazing pictures. So the fact that we were sharing the couch with our many dogs sitting in between us was amazing. Then she shared with me that my dad had been struggling. Apparently when my dad got back home after dropping me off at school he was a little upset. So my mom said that she had decided to start watching TV with him again. That might sound lame to you. But that sounds amazing to me! Watching TV is one of my dad's favorite ways to pass time. Sitting with my dad as he watches TV is a great way to feel connected with him. Then I learned that my mom, who used to still be wide awake when I would wake up at 6:00 a.m., was actually going to bed with my dad and waking up at reasonable times in the morning as opposed to mid-afternoon. I came home for the fall retreat surprise, but I am so glad that I came because I got to see my family. I became a little upset. Why is it that when I leave my family starts to get closer? But then I realized that if I hadn't left they wouldn't have gotten closer. My dad would not be upset, and my mom would have no reason to try and hangout with him. 

Later in the day my parents took me shopping. :) I loved this shopping trip. We went to Walmart and for the first time in months I felt free to shop. I still tried to look out for deals because I didn't want to disrespect my father, but I also did kind of got crazy. (sorry dad) But I bought so much food, ravioli, fruit snacks, chocolate, and pop tarts! Then I got things like rain boots, socks, and underwear. (sorry TMI  I know, but hey it's a part of life) However, I forgot all of the important stuff like, toilet paper, paper towels, trash bags, and cleaner for my bathroom in Tennessee. The way back home was something amazing. Before I tell the story I must let you know that I am TERRIFIED of tornados. Even the mention of the word makes me shiver. On the way home it began to storm out of nowhere. We turned on the weather station on the radio as the clouds around us began to rotate. Then the station began to say things like, "Take cover." "Get to the lowest floor of your house." "If you're on the road, find a ditch." Things always followed by, "We are under a tornado warning." Usually my reaction to words like this is hyper-ventilation and sheer terror. But this time I just watched the clouds swirl as I smiled in complete serenity. Something about this project is creating me to let go of fear, and grasp on to the thought of knowing everything will be fine. I felt at peace. 

It was one of the best days I have had in a while. I'm so glad I came to Maryland. Can't wait for tomorrow! Talk to you soon!

Day 17: Best Adventure Yet

A few weeks before I started this project if you would have asked me if I was going home for fall break I would have said, "No way. 24 hours of driving is not worth the two days I will be staying there." I was convinced I was not going. Then I got a reason to go. All of my friends here at college with me that are from my church back home were going home, and three out of four of them were going to surprise the youth group back home while they were one their fall retreat. The fall retreat was when our youth group went to some sort of campground and had an amazing time having fun, and getting closer to everyone and God. I was so stoked. But then I realized that the trip would cost money. So I decided again that I was not going. I couldn't afford it. And if I wasn't able to do the main reason I was going home. Then I didn't want to go at all. But then someone asked me during the yes man project, and so I had to say yes. Yes, this does kind of seem like it would fall under the impossible category, but I decided to just trust that everything would work out. And it did. Remember back when I told my grandparents that I needed help, and they provided me with help? Well the money they gave me was more than I expected. :) So I was able to afford the trip with the money they gave me. So today I traveled thirteen hours back home. We left at six in the morning, and arrived home at 7:30 ish p.m.

The entire trip Victoria and I switched off as drivers. I drove most of the way. I was okay with doing so though. My stomach was acting up, and driving took my mind off of it. I don't remember what provoked it, but I saw a sign and decided to scream, "BUCKLE UP VIRGINIA!" followed by what I can only describe as a tribal call. So for the rest of the trip whenever something like this happened we would all do the tribal call, and it kept things fun as well as kept us awake. We did this with any state sign, every time we gained back minutes on our GPS count down, anytime an hour or a significant amount of mileage was completed, and so on. Then we got into MARYLAND. Once we got there our tribal call turned into all out high pitched girl screams. I even joined in with what I like to call my horror  film scream. It's where I strain all the muscles in my neck and scream. It produces an incredibly high-pitched murderous scream that always provides a good laugh. Especially when it's a guy doing it. Finally we got to Victoria's house, our destination, and we screeched all the way up the driveway. Victoria's parents were concerned for our safety. It was probably one of the best road trips I have ever been on. I am so glad I decided to go home. My next few entries will be on this trip. I hope you enjoy! Talk to you soon!

Day 16: Article

Learning to Say No - Confessions of a Business Yes Man

Today I read this article titled, "Learning to Say No - Confessions of a Business Yes Man" by Steve C. of which you can see the link to above. This article is a little different than the ones I have read in the past. Instead of reading an article on someone who learned the importance of saying yes, this man learned the importance of saying no. Steve describes himself of a different version of a "Yes Man" that I have come across in the research I have done with this project. He speaks of the "Yes Man" with no back bone. A person not out for adventure, but rather someone who simply can't say no. I understand this person. Though I was quick to say no to any opportunity, I could never turn down someone who asked for a favor. "Can you lend me some money?" "Can you go up to my room and get my computer?" "Can you throw my food away?" I had no problem saying yes to things like this. Sometimes I genuinely enjoy helping people out, but sometimes I actually can't find anything within me that will let me say no to questions like these. This is why during this project I have become frustrated with the people who have turned me into their puppet. Asking me these questions knowing that I have to say yes. I am not frustrated with them because I have to do it. I am frustrated because it's nothing new to me. I have always done things like that. With this project I wanted to start getting myself to say yes to opportunities. 

Steve was just like me. Couldn't say no to a crying customer, or someone desperate for something. He simply couldn't say no to doing a favor for someone. This was especially harmful to him because he was a business man who just began his business. He ran into customer after customer that would take advantage of this "Yes Man" style. They would request he hand deliver, buy a lot of product and then they wouldn't purchase all of it, and for him to create a completely different product than what he offers only to be dissatisfied and not purchase the product. So Steve learned that this version of a "Yes Man" was not beneficial, and so unlike me, he learned how to say no. He learned the importance of the two letter word, and the power it can hold especially in business. I have learned the importance of no as well. However, I have learned the importance of finding the balance between no and yes. I am discovering that I should say yes more often to opportunities, but I should also learn how to say no to people trying to take advantage. 

Life overall is a balancing act. Balancing that amount of food, and the amount of exercise. Balancing the hours we're awake with the hours we're asleep. Balancing our time management. Being a "Yes Man" is no different. You must learn the balance between what you should say yes to, and what you should say no to. Don't allow yourself to be walked over, but don't miss the opportunities that come knocking at your door. Talk to you soon!

Day 14: Finally an Interview!

I have been sending out a lot of requests for interviews, but no one was responding. Finally, I  got one! 

I interviewed Amira. I found Amira through her blog about how she too attempted the Yes Man project. 

I asked her four questions:

1. What was the biggest thing you took away from the project?

          Answer: The biggest things I took away were the new experiences that I gained from saying yes. Like I mentioned in my post, it's easy to say no or make up excuses and never know the opportunities that we are missing out on. After saying yes all the time, I've realized all the great memories I've made by just keeping an open mind and not making excuses. 

2. Did the project have a permanent effect on your life?

          Answer: I only started this project about a month ago but the past month has been exceptional. I've had a very fun month with many adventures that I might have never had without the Yes Man theory. I think by following the theory people become happier and more fulfilled with their everyday lives. 

3. What were the negative effects the project had on your life?

          Answer: I'm not sure there were many ones. I mean, it's tiring to continuously say yes and go with the flow but then you realize it's worth it. 

4. What advice could you give someone like me who is taking on the project?

          Answer:  Keep an open mind. You never know what will happen next so the best thing you can do is try and be positive about it. Also, sometimes we make excuses and don't even realize it. Obviously you can't say yes to everything in the world but be aware of the moments when you're passing up on an opportunity and don't even realize it (i.e. mine would be when I was tired and almost went home one night instead of going out with some new people).

Overall, I found that Amira and I agreed on many things. We both think that this project should be taken on, even if for just a little while, by everyone. It makes you more adventurous, and as she put it, happy. I also agree with her statement that we sometimes don't realize every opportunity we turn down. This is something I am definitely learning through this project as I mistakenly say no to opportunities only to realize that I had done so by the end of the day. It was really great interviewing Amira, and it was nice to see that we agree on just about everything. Talk to you soon!

Day 13: Knock on My Door

The night before I went to bed thinking I was going to sleep in, and I was excited. Yes, I knew today was Sunday, but I just wasn't feeling church. Around 10:30 a.m. I rolled over in a half-asleep transe. My mind knew my body should be awake, but my body did not. Then I heard a knock at my door. I was too tired to yell come in, but I tried. It came out as a pathetic whisper. By the time I got to the door, no one was there. I thought I it was Victoria so I called her. Turned out it was Rebekah who was now with Victoria. They wanted to know if I wanted to go to church. I figured, eh I'm awake, why not? And I am glad that I did.

First, I saw this guy during worship rocking out to the music, and he reminded me of my friend Ben. He then got up on stage, and started walking around. I was excited, I thought he was going to preach, but then he walked off. At that moment I concluded he was crazy. Then a few minutes later during the offering he got back on and started singing, and he was AMAZING! If the service ended there I would have been perfectly content with going to church. 

But then after him there were many testimonies of all generations from children to adults speaking of a conference they had just attended that was all about introducing generations to each other and showing that each generation has something to give. I don't exactly remember what they said, but it sparked up a passion within me. I have been fighting for a long time, and I still am fighting, about what I should major in. I love film. I feel called to create many films, and make a difference through them. But I also feel called to pastor the youth. During their testimonies my heart, bringing my mind along with it,  began to become ripped in so many directions. I want to make movies. I want to pastor. I want to make a difference. I can't do it all. Or can I? What am I supposed to do? Crap, what did they just say? Should I pay attention to this? God, help me. I fought with my thoughts over and over, and then finally I came to a conclusion, not an answer, a conclusion because the answer has not come yet and may never come.

1. I am to spread God's word to everyone through film by using the stories I have and, without overwhelmingly doing so, placing God's presence within them
2. I am to one day preach God's word to crowds of many of the youth (whether that be right out of college, now, or days to come)
3. When I am called I am to be a personal youth pastor (and by that I mean at a church and not just preaching to many)

I determined that next semester I am going to take a class in youth ministry and two in film. I would take more in youth ministry, but you have to take one class as a prerequisite to all of the other classes. I passionately feel now that I am to follow my passion in film, and create the scripts that I have written into movies. I also believe that whether it is by power given to me through film or something totally different God is going to call me to speak out to crowds of youth. He keeps giving me visions of being on large stages talking to thousands of the youth. I also believe that one day I am supposed to be a youth pastor, but I am not sure if that is meant for me right out of college or later in life. This is the thing about having a calling, it is so confusing. You never know your next turn until God reveals it to you. It's terrifying, but it's also really exciting!

Rebekah and Victoria decided that today was the perfect day for a "High School Musical" marathon. Then when we got to the third movie they asked me over and over again to rewind a certain part (the link below is to the clip they wanted played over and over), and I had to say yes.
Clip

Sorry you had to watch that if you did. But I had to watch it at least fifteen times...

Either way today was a great day. I am glad that I went to church, and not going to lie I enjoyed the "High School Musical" marathon. Hoping for more adventures. Talk to you soon!

Day 13: Article

As you may remember towards the beginning of my project I saw the movie "Blue Like Jazz". The movie is almost a perfect match with my project. The main character Don is a guy keeping himself busy with safe opportunities like volunteering at his church. But when he moves to college he strays away from safe opportunities and moves to adventurous opportunities. Now I am not saying that, like him, I want to get wasted, burn books, and share a bed with an upset lesbian, but he had become very much a yes man, like me.

I am not the only one to identify with Miller.

In "Blue Like Jazz: I was Donald Miller" author Christian Piatt discusses how he too can relate to Donald Miller, the man who lived and wrote Blue Like Jazz.

Piatt admits that, like Miller, he grew up in church, lost his views at college, and was drawn back to religion with the help of a girl. 

Piatt also discusses sitting down with Miller, Taylor (Director of the Movie), and Allman (the actor that played Miller). They talk about making the movie and doing whatever they could to make their dream happen. They were unable to raise enough money so they called it quits. Miller even announced on his blog that the movie wasn't going to make. So two fans stepped up and developed a system of getting people to donate money for the movie in return to get their names in the credits. You can see evidence of this when they roll the credits and there are thousands of names running down the right side of the credits. And then he goes on to discuss the differences between the movie and the book. 

I couldn't help but read this article and think of the "Yes Man". If Taylor hadn't decided to listen the two fans who wanted to help him raise money, this movie would have never happened. If Allman decided to not take the request to audition for this part, the movie would have a different feel. If Miller hadn't chosen to go to Reed this story would be non-existent. 

Overall, I have been learning from this project that life is a "yes man" project. Meaning, our lives are full of taking or not taking opportunities and the results of which option we choose. Our lives are full of moments that can alter our path. Sometimes it's ok to say yes even if you're afraid. So as always I encourage that, at least for one day, you try to not turn down any opportunities. Talk to you soon!

Day 12: Article

Become a Yes Man and Say Yes to Every Opportunity

http://ducedo.com/become-a-yes-man/

This is a short article the author wrote to explain why someone should become a Yes Man. The author states, "The secret behind becoming a Yes Man is simply to stop hiding behind your excuses. Instead of saying “no”, just say “yes” and go out with your friends and have the time of your life. I promise when you grow old you will fret all the things you did not do and remember all the things you did." I agree. One of the main reasons I started this project was because I was losing a part of myself, and letting life slip through my hands every time I turned down an opportunity. I decided I didn't want to grow old and regret. I didn't want to feel like I am not living life. The author also states, "Life! We are all living it — or are we?" This really stuck out to me because it is true. I feel like I am not living life when I turn down all of the opportunities that I do. I agree with this author. Everyone should try the "Yes Man" project even if it isn't for a month but a few weeks. My advice, don't tell ANYONE! It's hard but it will save you from doing the stupid idiotic things that really shouldn't be involved. 

Talk to you soon!

Day 15: Article

http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/24/how-to-be-adventurous/

How to Be Adventurous by: Brad Bollenbach

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." -Howard Thurman

The article starts off with this powerful quote. Then Bollenbach speaks on how he believes that life is meant to be adventurous, and without adventure, you are missing something. He also goes on to say that there is no limit to being adventurous, no one too old, too young, too poor, too rich, too held back, too anything. Powerfully Bollenbach states that, "Right now is the only moment you ever have." So many times we are told that in our lives, but we never listen. We just agree, sometimes loudly state, "AMEN!", and then get on with our lives. It is very rare that a person decides to follow this, and when they do they are called names like hippies, or just plain dumb. Sometimes I look at these people and wonder if they are the ones who have it right, and we are the ones who are dumb. Bollenbach puts it simply, "...you're only ever either taking action to achieve a specific goal, or making excuses for why you aren't."

However, then Bollenbach goes into the more practical aspect. He begins to explain some of the more serious excuses for not being adventurous, no money for your idea, about to finish your degree, family,  and so on. But then with that he asks, "What can you do right now, this afternoon or tonight, to increase your adventure quotient?" And that is something that I have had to think about a lot on this project. What can I do today that can make things interesting? Unfortunately, I never act on my ideas because I don't want to manipulate the project. My goal is to see what opportunities I am missing that are offered to me, so I am trying to let the opportunities flow in as naturally as possible. So for all of those who want to be practical out there Bollenbach offers simple words for encouragement on how to be more adventurous, "Throw yourself into the world." "Go out to a social event this evening, by yourself." That last one is rough. That is one I think most people struggle with. Everyone is down for a party with a few friends. But how about a party at someone's house whom you do not know at all, with no one other than yourself coming with you? Then for those who are especially stubborn and complain that they can't find anything Bollenbach lists things you can do. "Art shows, Book Readings, Rock Concerts, Museum Exhibits, Beginners Night Dance Classes, Speed Dating, Outdoor Festivals, Geek Gatherings, and Parades/Rallies/Protests." There is something out there for everyone, you just have to be willing to look. "The beauty of boldness is that you get to choose your own adventure." (Bollenbach) That is true and when it's all over you only have yourself to thank or blame, but trust me you'll still be happy with yourself for at least trying it. 

The next piece of the article Bollenbach discusses the importance of attending things solo and not with others. He suggests that doing so will create confidence and self-identity. He then states, "Learing to create your own fun gives you more control over your social life." You can't mope around and blame others anymore when you are sitting in your dorm room alone. You just get up and do something. You control what happens each day and night, not everyone around you. Yes, Skinner, may have said that we are radishes in the sense that we are as big or small as we are in respect to how our enviroment raises us, but I say that is rubbish. Step up. Take control of your size. It is not to the fault of those around you that you chose to do nothing. No one invited you? Invite yourself? They don't want you to hangout with them? Great! There are 6,966,536,774 people in this world, someone is bound to like you. GET OUT THERE! And stop blaming anyone, but yourself. Believe me when I say most of these words are directed to myself. I love when Bollenbach states, "Suddenly, those awkward moments of waiting around like a loser for your friends to show up at some social gathering become opportunities to meet new people." That is so true, and we all have been there. Who wants to be the awkward kid sitting in the corner? No one. So don't be. Choosing to go alone will create you to stray away from being awkward, and start being social. We are meant to be social. Though it may help sooth us sometimes, our mouths were not meant for talking to ourselves.

Then Bollenbach addresses the fearful. He lists off all of the scary things you will encounter when being adventurous. "You won't know what to say when you approach people, You might end up standing around like a loser, You'll be almost visibly shaking for the first few people you approach, Some people will think you're creepy, Some people will think you're weird because you're not out with your friends, You'll tell yourself, "Oh my God! This is too hard! I think I'll just rent a movie instead. :/" Believe it or not these are all things that everyone goes through, even those that are more outgoing. I have a friend that is known for his (as my pastor puts it) Rico Suave attitude when entering a party. He just steps in a takes over the party. But he has told me time and time before that he didn't want to go to a social outing where no one knew him, he would rather just sit down and watch a movie. (it also doesn't help that he is a huge movie fanatic). Bollenbach boldly puts it out there, "Furthermore, you cannot read your way thorough this. The only path forward is action." This is so true. So many of us do it. It's great if you are inspired by the words I say, or anyone else says, but those words won't do anything for you if you don't act on it. I once knew this person who loved to agree with and say all of these very inspirational quotes, but their actions never matched the quote. It's all fine and dandy to agree with your pastor, but what does it mean if you don't act on it? I understand that you understand that there are struggling people in this world, but who was the last one you feed or even helped? We rely so much on books, movies, and politicians to change this world. Why? You have arms and legs, use them. Change this world. Nicholas Vujicic does it, and he doesn't even have arms or legs. Reading books is amazing and can help you in so many ways, but are you going to read the book or go out and write it?

I am so glad that I stumbled upon Bollenbach's article for he has a lot of great insight on issues I have been running into throughout my journey. I know that you have read my blog, and already feel like you read his article, but I still encourage you to read his. His overall point is adventure will change your life, especially if you do it alone. Talk to you soon!

Day 12: Let's Go for a Run Around Alumni Park

Today I began my day watching One Tree Hill with my friend Victoria. We decided to watch season four, episodes "Some You Give Away", "Songs to Love and Die By", and "Everything in it's Right Place". 

A lot of people degrade One Tree Hill because it is shown on networks like the CW and Soap Net, but I consider it an epic story about love, life, tragedy, and just about everything. It has taught me so much about life and film. The music is INCREDIBLE. All it's missing is God, but they even touch on Him a few times and play Christian songs throughout the series. 

*spoiler alert*

The three episodes go together. The links down below are clips that fans of One Tree Hill have put together, but I think it displays the episodes well. Basically the group of high school kids go to the state basketball game. Some of them are in the game, and some of them are there to watch or cheer. Nathan, one of the two married seniors (married to Haley) get's into trouble with gamblers when he needs money to help support him and his pregnant wife. Haley has complications with her pregnancy as the stress is too much, and decides to visit the hospital where she discovers the sex of the baby. Nathan, due to threats of the gamblers, decides to throw the game until he hears that he is having a son and decides that, unlike his father, he is going to change how he is behaving to become a better man for his son. Lucas choses not to take his heart medication so that he can win the game since he knows that Nathan is throwing the game. The Ravens (the team with Nathan and Lucas) end up winning the game. The crowd explodes. Couples come together. Including Peyton and Lucas, the couple everyone knows should be together. Everything is perfect. Then after celebrating Nathan and Haley walk home where the gambler after Nathan tries to hit them both with his car. Instead Haley pushes Nathan out of the way and takes full impact. The gambler then swerves and hits a telephone pole. Nathan is stunned. Lucas comes rushing out from the nearby cafe where they were celebrating to help. Nathan tells Lucas to call 911 as Nathan goes after the gambler, and appears to beat him to death (you later find out that the gambler died on impact after he crashed into the telephone pole). However, Dan, Nathan and Lucas's father, finds Nathan and stops him from beating the man. When the cops show up Dan tells Nathan to go to Haley. Dan takes the blame and ends up in jail. Lucas tries to communicate with one of the EMTs, but after all of the stress of the night he collapses from a heart attack. 

The second episode Lucas wakes up from lying on the ground to find no one around him. When he gets up he spots a strange man. When he greets the man he discovers that the man is Keith, Lucas's dead uncle. Keith then takes Lucas around showing him what life would be like if he chose to not do the right thing. On this adventure he finds a darker version of his friend and former girlfriend Brooke, a dead Peyton, his now girlfriend, and a depressed and single Nathan, his half-brother and his best friend Haley's husband. Keith also decides to visit a few people on his own. He visits Karen, his former fiancé and Lucas's mother, that is now carrying his baby. He also visits his brother, Dan, who murdered him not too long ago. At the end Lucas is given a choice to die and possibly stay with Keith, or live and continue doing the right things. This is also the episode that you find out what happens to Haley and her baby. 

The third episode is the aftermath of when Haley and Lucas wake up. Dan get's freed from jail when they realize that the gambler did not die from a beating, but from the impact of the accident. Haley discovers that Nathan was actually the one who beat the gambler, and that the gambler hit her because Nathan was doing business with him. Peyton becomes scared to be intimate (kissing, even hugging) in any way with Lucas afraid that he will have another heart attack.

Some You Give Away

Songs to Live and Die By

Everything is in It's Right Place

*Spoiler Alert*

This is definitely one thing I am not upset about having to say yes to. :)

However, it couldn't say the same for what happened later. 

Victoria and I went to dinner. We ate SO much we were stuffed! Then on the way back I ran into a classmate of mine. Running into a classmate is the worst right now. They all know that I have to say yes, so they ask me to do ridiculous things. This classmates request... she asked me to run around alumni park. The request itself wasn't so bad, but I was FULL, and I was wearing flip-flops so I had to run barefoot. I was fine the entire time until I got to the point where is was all up hill. Then I barely made it. (yes, I need to exercise more). But, I made it, and to be honest it wasn't that bad. The looks from people as I passed them was kind of humorous. And I was proud to find that even on a full stomach I can run pretty efficiently. All though I did kind of feel like Loca the pug. 

Once again, not too eventful of a day, but eventful enough. Talk to you soon!

Day 11: Frontline

Nothing really happened today. Shocker, I know. This thing called Frontline happened on campus today. It's when all of the prospective students come to visit our school. One of the main benefits is that the food is much better than usual. A crowd of prospective students were walking in through our dorm to be shown what our dorm rooms looked like. While they walked out I got stopped by one of the fathers. He began to ask me about our school and what the faith was like here. I told him that I loved this school and the faith was awesome. I told him about the many things we do on this campus that keeps our faith strong. He thanked me for talking to him, and then ran off to catch up with his group. 

I felt great. I hope that I helped him a little with how he felt about the school. That was the most that had happened today. I'm sorry I'm not being really exciting lately. But don't worry I have some exciting things to talk about tomorrow. In case you are confused I write all of my blog entries the day after I experience everything. So I write about Day 1 on Day 2. That's how I know things ahead of time. So, as I said before, tomorrow is interesting. Talk to you soon!

Day 8: Survey

I was curious as to how much this "yes man" project could effect someone else's life. So I walked around campus and took a survey. I asked four questions.

1. What is the riskiest or most adventurous thing you have ever done?

2. Would you ever become a "yes man"?

3. How often do you find yourself turning down opportunities?

4. Any opportunities you regret not taking?

In order to have some attempt at organization I am going to address each survey question individually.

Number one: What is the riskiest or most adventurous thing you have ever done?

Answers given:

Overseas Trip- 45%

Shared my Faith with a Stranger- 11%

Skydiving- 11%

Talked to a Stranger- 22%

Spent a lot of $- 11%

As you can see the most frequent answer was taking an overseas trip. I kind of expected an answer like this since Lee University requires each student to take a cross-cultural trip in order to graduate. So I decided to look up some statistics. Of course when researching I found many different results. Some said 3 million people traveled overseas, and to other states, and some said thousands travel overseas every year. So needless to say, a lot of people travel overseas every year. 

So then I looked up how many people skydive within a year in the U.S.. The answer, about 350,000. According to the U.S. census 314,570,630 people live in the U.S. So about less than one percent of americans skydive each year. 

So overall the riskiest thing americans do is travel overseas. 

Number Two: Would you ever become a "yes man"?

Answers Given:

Yes - 37%

No - 63%

It's safe to say that not many people want to give up their free will in order to become more adventurous. 

Number Three: How often do you find yourself turning down opportunities?

Answers Given:

Often - 37%

Occasionally - 25% 

Not Very Often - 25%

All the time - 12%

Never - 0%

The good news is that if you feel like you turn down too many opportunities there is not one person I talked to who said the never turned something down. In fact not many people saw themselves as very adventurous.

Number Four: Any opportunities you regret not taking?

Answers Given:

Yes - 75%

No - 25%

What do you regret?

A trip - 50%

Buying something - 12%

Nothing specific - 38%

No one specified whether they regretted taking a trip or not taking a trip, but if I had to guess I would guess they meant not taking a trip. Almost everyone I talk to wants to see the world before they die. It's also not a shocker that people regret buying something. With the way our economy is its easy to regret things involving money. You could buy a big money item one day and lose your job the next.

I also looked at the results and tried to conclude what makes you adventurous, and what makes you want to take on the "yes man" project.

I randomly selected a few specific people to look at. For their privacy I changed their names. 

Here's a reminder of the questions...

1. What is the riskiest or most adventurous thing you have ever done?
2. Would you ever become a "yes man"?
3. How often do you find yourself turning down opportunities?
4. Any opportunities you regret not taking?

Let's start with Maura. This is what Maura Answered.

1. overseas trip

2. yes

3. often

4. Yes, a trip

Maura is like many Americans and has taken an overseas trip. She considers this to be the most adventurous things she has done. She also admits that she turns down a lot of opportunities. I would assume that she wants to be a yes man in order to make herself more adventurous, like me.

Adam

1. Skydiving

2. no

3. often

4. Buying Something

Adam shocked me at first. He said that he often turns down opportunities but chose to not become a yes man. I was confused I thought that I would see a pattern. Those who turned down opportunities would chose to be yes men and women because they wanted to be more adventurous. He did not fit this pattern. Why? And then I say his first answering. He is one of the less than 1% that has gone skydiving. If I went skydiving I would consider myself pretty adventurous too. 

Kylie

1. Spent lots of money

2. no

3. often

4. a trip

Kylie really confuses me. She answers that she doesn't want to be a yes women, but she turns things down often and regrets trips she hasn't taken. I'm confused. In her situation I believe I would want to be a yes women so that I could say yes to more trips, and regret less. 

Sharlett

1. Shared their faith with a stranger

2. No

3. occasionally

4. no

Sharlett fits my prediction a little better. I predict that the less you regret and the less opportunities you turn down, the less you would want to become a yes man or woman. The more you turn down, and the more you regret, the more likely you would want to become a yes man or woman. With all the results I had gotten, however, I am surprised that there aren't more yes men and women out there. Most people have many regrets and find themselves turning things down. Most people say at the end of their lives it's not all the things that they had done that they remember most, but rather the things they have not done. 

Today I met a lot of great people, and found out a lot of information. My advice to those of you struggling with not being as adventurous as you would like is to try the yes man project. If you're scared of it, give yourself guidelines, just as I have done. Just say yes more often! Talk to you soon!